Every time I slip into the ocean, it’s like going home.
We live on the coast of Maine. I go to the beach all year long but my favorite time to go is in summer. Our summer is a fleeting season — in between Mud Season (or what most states experience as Spring) and Fall.
‘Going to the beach’ is an ever present thought. It is my church. Body surfing is my communion.
I am a Beach Person – I begin mourning its’ end before it starts. I go with loved ones who say things like: “Do you believe how lucky we are?”
I was worried how things would change for me at The Beach with Thorin. The first couple years were not too different because Thorin preferred Ward to me. So Ward did all the parent work at the beach. Then Ward starting staying home to garden and Thorin still wanted to go to the beach even if it was with me.
I wasn’t alone though. My sister helped me tons as did Johannah who has a daughter, Ella, a couple years older than Thorin—who he idolizes. It was still pretty much The Beach. I was still free.
Then Thorin “discovered” the ocean himself and wouldn’t leave it. In fact leaving the beach became a battle I mostly lost it at– whinnying, crying, pleading. Thorin was: Harshing my buzz, Man.
Ward took pity on me. He would teach Thorin gardening. I happily went off to the beach after telling Thorin I was going to Target. I’m not a complete jerk, I did take him every other time.
Then as this summer approached I realized: “Holy crap! I’m now a SAHM! We could be going all the time if he wasn’t such a jerk.” Yes, I am editorializing.
In May, I told him we needed to talk. Like all males he ran out of the room. I offered a Popsicle to get him back.
“Thorin, I have to be honest with you. Most of the times I said I was going to Target last summer I was going to the beach without you.”
He dropped the Popsicle. That made me feel awful.
“I’m sorry but it’s not fun. All the arguing. I love the beach. I don’t want to fight”
He dropped his head. I am a horrible person.
“Thorin, if we could work as a team at the beach we could go all the time.”
His head snapped back up.
“Do you want that?”
We went from there. We would have fun and not argue. We had a couple rough moments as we sorted out our new roles.
For the most part he did as asked and I realized I loved watching Thorin love The Beach. In fact, my loving the beach became loving Thorin being with me.
He body surfed and waited patiently on the beach so I could, too. The beach became something different for both of us. We were no longer selfish. We were Buds.
Last week we got an extended bit of summer with weather in the 80’s. As unschooler’s we schooled at the beach all week long.
Thorin and I are lucky to be Beach People. This year we will both mourn the end of summer together and plan for next year being better than ever.
Tuesday, September 22 is the last day of the (astronomical) summer (Northern Hemisphere) 2015.