New Doctor –

I went to a new doctor today. I brought Thorin because I didn’t have childcare. It was a ten minute talking visit not a cringy-watch-your-mom-get-an-examination-visit.

The medical assistant asked, “Is he your grandson?”

That didn’t offend me I am old enough to be his grandmother.

“No I’m his mother.”


She was incredulous. That bothered me. As a medical assistant she must hear actual shocking things everyday

“How old is he?” she asked looking at me

I looked at Thorin, “How old are you?”

“Seben”, he said.

“Seven!” she said, “He’s so small!”

I wanted to ask her what isn’t shocking to her?

She smiled, “He seems good.”

I smiled, “He is good. Everyone who’s seben is good.”

Me and him

Me and him

After she left I was glad she didn’t know he was adopted or that my husband was fourteen years younger than me.

The doctor came in. First she completely ignored the fact Thorin was in the room. Then she didn’t.

“You’re very patient”, she said looking at him.

That was harmless.

“How old is he?” she asked looking at me

I looked at Thorin, “How old are you?”

“Seben”, he said.

“Does he go to school?” she asked me

“He does”, I said.

“Is it a special school?” she asked

“You mean like the kind that has wizards and unicorns?” I said

Bottom line: I need a newer doctor.



28 thoughts on “New Doctor –

    • Right now I wish there was a Hogwarts:)

      “Not saying stupid…” is the most important part, right? Essential to treating people, educating people, parent people…

    • Listen you must hear this crap everyday, too. I want people who don’t have a kid with Ds to say to their friends, doctors, mothers, sisters, brothers, hair dressers, etc: WE NEED TO STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT.

  1. I am so glad I am not the only DS mom who has witty/snarky replies for the people who are just…..rude and sometimes hurtful!! I hope to give them pause before they ever decide to do it to another. Way to go!!

    • I can’t figure out if they do not think he will understand their big questions like “what’s you age?” or they think he is an exotic that they cannot interact with.

  2. You expect this from people in checkout queues not a doctors office… I’m with Stephanie…there needs to be more allowances made for a good throat punch every now and then. ;)

    • I’d have to wait until it was a legal allowance:) What an idiot doctor, right? The only thing I could think of to say to Thorin was “She is an idiot”. He said, “Yes”.

  3. “You mean like the kind that has wizards and unicorns?” OMG, I love that. I get asked that question all of the time- what a great response!

  4. Hi Kari as usual great post. Lucky you didn’t have child care that day. I guess you will need to take Thorin to meet all the new doctors you are going to try to weed the bad ones out :-)

  5. I’ve been off-line for a bit so please forgive the late response. I ALWAYS hate when the doctor would ask a question about my kid, when the kid is sitting directly in front of them. You’d think with all of the training and education they need to accomplish in order to practice, that they’d learn manners and how to interact with people.

  6. Kari, as usual, awesome article/anecdote! I was wondering if you might write something along the lines of “The Top Ten Things NOT to Ask a Parent of a Child with Downs Syndrome” someday? I often wonder if people say things out of ignorance or stupidity (I’m sure that I’ve said things out of both camps), but that they don’t actually have “ill intentions” at all. Or maybe they (we?) just don’t realize how incredibly stoopid some things sound.

    • I think you are right — ignorance is a big part of it rather some malice.

      Yeah I would write that someday and then you help me get an audience with some doctors or interns. Nurses seem to get it whatever it is:)

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