I went to a new doctor today. I brought Thorin because I didn’t have childcare. It was a ten minute talking visit not a cringy-watch-your-mom-get-an-examination-visit.
The medical assistant asked, “Is he your grandson?”
That didn’t offend me I am old enough to be his grandmother.
“No I’m his mother.”
“Really??!!”
She was incredulous. That bothered me. As a medical assistant she must hear actual shocking things everyday
“How old is he?” she asked looking at me
I looked at Thorin, “How old are you?”
“Seben”, he said.
“Seven!” she said, “He’s so small!”
I wanted to ask her what isn’t shocking to her?
She smiled, “He seems good.”
I smiled, “He is good. Everyone who’s seben is good.”
Me and him
After she left I was glad she didn’t know he was adopted or that my husband was fourteen years younger than me.
The doctor came in. First she completely ignored the fact Thorin was in the room. Then she didn’t.
“You’re very patient”, she said looking at him.
That was harmless.
“How old is he?” she asked looking at me
I looked at Thorin, “How old are you?”
“Seben”, he said.
“Does he go to school?” she asked me
“He does”, I said.
“Is it a special school?” she asked
“You mean like the kind that has wizards and unicorns?” I said
Bottom line: I need a newer doctor.
a typical son 
How do I get my son into this wizards and unicorns school? Sounds right up his alley.
I wish it did exist:)
Oy freakin’ vey.
Seriously? Sometimes I just want to throat punch people. Ugh. That whole office needs to be fired!
If Thorin got into hogwarts early and you didn’t tell us.. I would be really mad…
Thinking I should become an MD. Already have the “not saying stupid things to people” part down. Oy vey.
Right now I wish there was a Hogwarts:)
“Not saying stupid…” is the most important part, right? Essential to treating people, educating people, parent people…
Did you really say that… awesome now write those bitches up!
Listen you must hear this crap everyday, too. I want people who don’t have a kid with Ds to say to their friends, doctors, mothers, sisters, brothers, hair dressers, etc: WE NEED TO STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT.
I am so glad I am not the only DS mom who has witty/snarky replies for the people who are just…..rude and sometimes hurtful!! I hope to give them pause before they ever decide to do it to another. Way to go!!
I have heard some pretty dumb shit lately but still thrown when I do hear it. Thanks!
This is brilliant! Great comeback on the special school. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
Yep, People keep asking me questions about Jaime, how old etc. I say ask him yourself.
I can’t figure out if they do not think he will understand their big questions like “what’s you age?” or they think he is an exotic that they cannot interact with.
Dying to know what her reply was to the wizards and unicorns comment!
She does not have a sense of humor.
You expect this from people in checkout queues not a doctors office… I’m with Stephanie…there needs to be more allowances made for a good throat punch every now and then. ;)
I’d have to wait until it was a legal allowance:) What an idiot doctor, right? The only thing I could think of to say to Thorin was “She is an idiot”. He said, “Yes”.
They obviously all missed Disability 101.
And slept through Mind Your Manners and Humanity:) Idiots.
“You mean like the kind that has wizards and unicorns?” OMG, I love that. I get asked that question all of the time- what a great response!
Let’s all agree to say that when asked:)
Hi Kari as usual great post. Lucky you didn’t have child care that day. I guess you will need to take Thorin to meet all the new doctors you are going to try to weed the bad ones out :-)
Yes I do! Smart idea:)
I’ve been off-line for a bit so please forgive the late response. I ALWAYS hate when the doctor would ask a question about my kid, when the kid is sitting directly in front of them. You’d think with all of the training and education they need to accomplish in order to practice, that they’d learn manners and how to interact with people.
Manners should be taught in medical school! REally anywhere:)
Kari, as usual, awesome article/anecdote! I was wondering if you might write something along the lines of “The Top Ten Things NOT to Ask a Parent of a Child with Downs Syndrome” someday? I often wonder if people say things out of ignorance or stupidity (I’m sure that I’ve said things out of both camps), but that they don’t actually have “ill intentions” at all. Or maybe they (we?) just don’t realize how incredibly stoopid some things sound.
I think you are right — ignorance is a big part of it rather some malice.
Yeah I would write that someday and then you help me get an audience with some doctors or interns. Nurses seem to get it whatever it is:)