The Rest of the Story –

Last week I really sounded off about women who have given me unsolicited advice over the last couple of years. I have to say I feel better about it all after doing that. I also realize I need to be more pro-active and respond in-the-moment to those situations using tact (I am capable of it) and humor. Also – whether the information is a judgment or not I can choose (again, totally capable) to not feel judged.

That said I wish I had written earlier about what these same individuals and others have done for our family. The following are a sampling.

Thank you to:

The teachers and aides who never laugh at me when I tell them to “Really, really watch Thorin on field trips” especially those involving water.

The teachers and aides who take his asthma seriously and make sure he gets his medicine on time and report every little symptom to me.

The co-director of the school who has spent over the last couple of years hours helping me problem solve my own parenting deficits.

The co-director who offered to take Thorin during a school break when our babysitter fell through.

The physical therapist I wish I could clone.

The teachers and aides who hold Thorin in their arms when he is sick until I can get to the school to pick him up.

The occupational therapist that encourages Thorin to work hard and gets his sense of humor.

The speech therapist that found us a new ENT and gives us homework every week.

The aide who would remind me when “Pajama Day” was so he wasn’t the kid in street clothes.

The teacher who always introduces me as “The woman lucky enough to be Thorin’s mom”.

Do I stand by my assessment women can be hard on other women? Yes. But, there is more to the story than that. The reason I interact exclusively with women in these situations is that it is women who are more likely to be engaged in the helping professions. They are more likely to accept lower pay to be direct providers. They are more likely to devote their entire careers to the welfare of children – particularly children with special needs. They are more likely to then men.


This entry was posted in Advocacy, By Notatypicalmom, Down syndrome, education, Health, Inclusion, Parenting, Random life, Special Needs by Kari Wagner-Peck. Bookmark the permalink.

About Kari Wagner-Peck

Kari Wagner-Peck lives with her husband and son in Maine. She is a writer & storyteller who home schools with her son. She is the author of the memoir Not Always Happy: An Unusual Parenting Journey, May, 2017, Central Recovery Press. She has been published at CNN, Psychology Today online, The New York Times Well Family blog, The Huffington Post, The The Good Men Project, The Sydney Morning Herald Daily Life blog, BLOOM and Love That Max among others. Author page: Twitter @KariWagnerPeck and Facebook: Email:

4 thoughts on “The Rest of the Story –

  1. It’s always hard when you get unsolicited advice. It can be very grating, even if the other party means well. When that happens, I just nod my head and usually don’t say anything. On the flipside, it’s great that you do have those around who DO help and offer so much support. Cherish it.

  2. I like this post. I touched that star icon to “be the first to like this post”, but I’m on my portable device (iPhone – last year’s version) and whatever pops up for me to fill does not allow me to see what I should fill in; name? Occupation? Sex? What’s to like? So, I’ve shut it down and I will leave some comment here about this marvelous posting. … Anyway… I’m at a bit of a loss for words as I continue punching away at my iPhone’s touch screen keyboard… Thinking about the wondrous Thorin and the people who get to be close to him, and how reading this post put smile on my face and lump in my throat.

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