Chuck Klosterman’s response to my letter –

My intention with my letter to Mr. Klosterman was only to ellicit an answer. I was not looking for banning, burning, boycotting or firing. I wanted to know what he thought of the R-word. I got my answer. His response is beyond anything I could have imagined. I am quite grateful for that. (And that $25,000 will be put to good use.) – kwp

Dear Ms. Wagner-Peck:

I have spent the last two days trying to figure out a way to properly address the issue you have raised on your web site. I’ve slowly concluded the best way is to just be as straightforward as possible: I was wrong. You are right.

I should not have used “retard” pejoratively. It was immature, hurtful, and thoughtless. I have no justification for my actions. I realize the books that contain those sentiments were published over 10 years ago, but that is no excuse; I was an adult when I wrote them and I knew what I was doing. I feel terrible about this and deeply embarrassed. I take full responsibility for my actions and understand why this matters so much to you. I’m truly sorry.

Feel free to re-post this message on your web site. I deserve the criticism I am receiving, and I want other people to know that I realize I was wrong. I would also like to donate $25,000 to whatever charity you feel is most critical in improving the lives of people with cognitive disabilities — …, …,* or any other organization you recommend. I have done something bad, so help me do something good.

Again, I apologize — and not just to you and your son, but to anyone else who was hurt by this.

– Chuck Klosterman

* With apologies to Mr. Klosterman I have omitted the names of organizations he has suggested for obvious reasons.

80 thoughts on “Chuck Klosterman’s response to my letter –

  1. Wow, what an awesome conclusion! I spent a good hour online researching Mr. Klosterman and his works after you first posted about this. I too recognized he had written those things a while back, and that he is quite likely coming from a very different place now than he was then. Aren’t we all? I think its totally awesome he is putting his money where his mouth is! Pretty much brings tears to my eyes. Good on him and good on you for calling him out.

  2. I believe the word we’re all looking for is Mensch. So many times the instinct is to dig in or offer the “sorry that you feel that way.” Thank you CK for owning this and thank you, notatypicalmom, for being so damn awesome.

  3. Wow….just…wow. What a great response from him! We definitely need more of this. Thanks for writing to him and I’m so happy you got this response, for all of us. I didn’t get to tweet/post/blog as much about this as I wanted (my son caught the crud) but I know a lot of people were standing with you. I agree, we need change. This is a step.

  4. Wow! You mean to tell me that there are people in this world who can admit they are wrong?! I thought that fad died out years ago! That’s one hell of an individual to do what he has done, here! Thank you for taking a stand for the rest of us out here. And thank you Chuck Klosterman for being a man with humility and grace.

  5. Wow! You mean to tell me that there are people out there who can admit they are wrong?! I thought that fad died out years ago! Thank you for taking a stand for the rest of us out here! And a big thank you to Chuck Klosterman. That takes a hell of an individual to do what he has done in this day in age. He certainly presents himself here as a man with humilty and grace.

  6. What an eloquent and heartfelt apology, so different for the watered down “sorry you feel that way”, “if I offended you” excuses we see from other people who have made mistakes. Seems he is an ethicist, after all.

  7. A wonderful response — congratulations, and thank you, again, for the effort you put forth in bringing this to his attention — and that of many others. A number of people were very vocal in their complaints about his use of the word … may I suggest we all be as vocal in our praise? Positive reinforcement goes a long way!

  8. Finally, a real apology! Not one of those “sorry if i offended you” apologies. Thank you for pursuing this. And thanks to the ethicist for being, well, ethical.

  9. Finally, a real apology. Not one of those “I’m sorry if I offended you” non-apologies. Thank you for bringing this to light and thank you to the ethicist for standing up and being, well, ethical.

  10. Wow. Chuck, that was really well done. So used to having people respond so badly (and making it worse) to this issue. You listened, you thought about it… Thank you. I hope your donation is put to good use…

  11. Holy fucking shit! You did good and he did good! I want a world where people can regularly make apologies like this. Way to be a man, Mr. Klosterman!

  12. Well done, both of you! Where is the money going, and what are the “obvious reasons” for hiding his suggestions? I don’t get it!

  13. I had to read it twice to believe that someone, anyone, would actually just say, I’m sorry, I was wrong! I have spent the last 35 years working with adults with ID and reading this was one of those rare, special moments of witnessing someone’s discovery of what is really alright in this world!

  14. Thank you for making a stand, notatypical mom. Your voice was heard. And thank you to Mr. Klosterman. Your efforts are recognized and appreciated.

  15. A man of honour and integrity, just when I thought they were an endangered species. Mr. Klosterman, your fortitude is admirable.

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  18. Mr. Klosterman, you could give our President lessons on how to give a genuine apology. Thank you for completely owning up to your mistake. You are forgiven completely

  19. This is social change at a grass roots level that indeed restores faith in humanity. Thank you Kari for having the heart and mind of a true activist. Proud to know you!

  20. Pingback: Thank you Chuck Klosterman. | breeder.

  21. Pingback: Author Chuck Klosterman Backs Up R-Word Apology with $25,000 Charity Donation - FishbowlNY

  22. I never, ever post on blogs, etc. because I am always frustrated with people. Complaints that are overboard followed by dumb reactions by the accused. This was a case of a well-written, personal letter, not calling for firing, etc, as you said.. and a response from someone who really manned-up, so to speak, and I don’t think it was for publicity given the forums (no offense). Real nice to see.

  23. Pingback: I Challenged a Famous Ethicist… And Changed His Mind. — The Good Men Project

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